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Alcoholism

Welcome:  This will share my daily life with an alcoholic.  I am not an addict.  I live in a large metropolitan area with the addict.  I met the addict four years ago.  We are the same age and met through an online website.  My views on addiction and this disease has severely changed in the past four years.

Today, Friday, November 16th, 2018 -
Drinking a beer or a glass of wine never phased me before this relationship unless I planned on driving somewhere, then I wouldn't drink alcohol.  Now, I have to think about the feelings of the addict when I pop the top off of a beer bottle or pour a glass of wine to drink while eating dinner.  I now ask if it's OK to drink an alcoholic drink and he always says to go ahead and have a drink of alcohol. 

I always worry about having a drink and if that would cause the alcoholic to want a drink.  I have hidden bottles of wine or liquor in the home and have had to lock any alcohol that I have away from the alcoholic.

I remember Thanksgiving five years ago, looking up the best bottles of wine that would go well with turkey dinner.  I have a wine drinker coming to Thanksgiving and found myself looking up the same information yesterday while at the grocery store.  I put the bottles in my cart and five minutes later I removed the two bottles.   I believe I should ask the wine drinker to bring whatever she believes she would like to drink for Thanksgiving.  What do you think?  Would it be fair to tell her that there is no alcohol this Thanksgiving?  Football, Turkey, and Alcohol for Thanksgiving..... and now remove the Alcohol.

It's like walking on eggshells when trying to plan events.  I never know what might be a trigger for him.   He refuses to share his triggers and anytime I try to say that he has a trigger he says I am not able to read his mind.

I feel tired and hate that I can't really call someone to complain about this life I have because I choose to stay.  I feel like he wouldn't stay if I was dealing with this disease.  I have lost a lot of money trying to keep our life normal.  I have lost my job and I can't blame that on the alcoholic but I feel like I don't have the support that I need in my life.  I have no idea what to do about my future.  Should I stay or go?  What would help me?


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